I heard a song today that I used to listen to as a teenager. It sparked some feelings that I hadn't felt in a while, and so I listened to more songs. As tears rolled down my face I felt the pain that I once did. I thought I was over that phase in my life...yet here it is again. I wish I had a chance to go back and change everything, but then who would I be now? Would I be as mature as I am? I don't know. Saying that I would just be like everyone else is discrediting myself, right? Who knows...no one can change the past.
I hope that I never have to go through what I went through ever again! I can handle dad leaving and a divorce, or moving across the entire country; but I can't handle being in a cult. I don't ever want to be controlled again, and I pray to God that He will give me the strength to stand firm. I just want to be me...if I find someone else, great! But I will not change myself for someone else...regardless of who they are or what they want me to change. I won't not get a tattoo for someone, and I won't change my religion for someone. I am who I am and that's just who I am! I love me...and it will stay that way. When I find someone who loves me, he will have to accept me loving me, too.
Love to all...and goodnight <3
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